Float like a butterfly - Sting like a bee

Possible development of the upcoming race in Tønsberg on this first coming Saturday...

....we'll pass it on to Phil Ligget standing in the transition zone now. Phil?

Yes, Sean, this will be a very exiting race, the athletes have been in the water for almost 10 minutes now and are getting close to exiting. As expected we see that Scully is leading out of the water closely followed by Mr Scone. Well past his height as an athlete, he has definitely dug deep to swim this fast... We remember him more for the battles with the East Germans back in the mid 80's. At the age of ca 52 the former b-cyclist is well past his prime... Back to you Sean.

Thanks Phil. Other swimmers coming out of the water now... There's one, he has lost his swim cap as usual and his shiny scull is almost blinding us. He seems to be on fire as he charges through the transition area. On to the bike he has already closed to within 30 seconds of the leaders. What can you tell us about this fine gentleman, Phil?

Sean, this is a remarkable young fellow, although young is perhaps a wrong expression here... Anyway, this extraordinary man who travels the world for a living, really has his heart in the track and field, and comes from a background of Discus throw. Rumor has it that he gets his true inspiration from the Tarahumara indians in the north of Mexico. But as a fine class A athlete, he wears shoes as opposed to his indian counterparts... Anyway, being on the top in the late-90's and early turn of the millenium, this fine specimen of a human being still has a few years left of his prime. Will we see him return to Hawaii? I certainly hope so. Sean, what's the development on the bike?

Thanks for that Phil. Well, as the racers are almost done with their 20 km time trial, they are getting ready to run, at least those who haven't shed all their powers on the bike course. We see now the first riders enter T2, and almost as expected is the former B-rider leading, with the Indian runner closely following his trail. And as Mr Scone attempts to hang up his bike he seems to lose balance. He is, oh no, he is running in the wrong direction. Oh dear, what an amateur... Phil?

Thanks Sean. What can I say, this former cycling star has certainly seen better days. Finally on to the running now, he runs as if something is stuck inside his pants, and up through his spine. Not very elegant I am afraid... alas.... Closing in from behind now comes the former triathlon champion and being away for a couple of years certainly doesn't seem to affect his performance. If Mo Farah ever had an idol, this must be him, so fluent, ah- the grace. As the runners are heading towards the finish line now, the two men in the lead are running shoulder to shoulder. Sean, this is the ultimate form of racing. In front of this huge crowd, down here in the center of Norway's oldest city... But, Oh my Gosh! Scone slipped on a banana peel! And he is flying horizontally through the air. And watch it there, oh lord almighty, straight in to a pile of horse manure! And he is absolutely covered in horse sh-t, pardon my French. I have never seen anything like it. This is absolutely Bizzare! The stench - oh dear. And the humiliation? Will he ever be able to recover? As our reborn hero goes for the win in the 40-49 age group he cannot seem to stop smiling. He high fives the crowd, signs autographs. And look, HRH Mette Marit is out to greet him! Kissing him on the cheek, passing him a small note. He blushes as he reads it. Sean, back to you...?

Phil, what an amazing race. I don't think I have ever experience anything like it. The former cycling amateur is carried off now to the shower area, actually no, he stinks so bad he is thrown straight back into the sea. Have we seen the last of this clumsy old man who has seen far better days. Rumor has it though that he intends to pick up the sport of Petanque. Perhaps a lucky break for the triathlon sport, and not so lucky for the petanque teams.... Well, that's it for now folks. This is Sean Kelly and Phil Ligget reporting live from Tonsberg and the first edition of Downtown triathlon. Goodbye.

1 kommentar:

  1. Ikke for å være vanskelig, Larsen – men når tittelen inneholder et direkte sitatfeil må du få en verbal overhøvling.

    Sitatet fra hr. Ali (som jeg antar er opphavet til tittelen) er "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee".

    Du kan trøste deg med at de aller fleste skriver det slik du gjør. Eller nå: gjorde.

    Jeg antar at jeg nå står ført opp til to stk. bedre glass med Cognac (jeg har allerede én til gode hvis jeg ikke husker feil) hvis jeg en dag forviller meg på den gale siden av fjorden....
    God helg!

    Henning Smogeli

    PS: du skriver fremdeles fryktelig godt....